The Threads of Honesty

I've written before about the pea shell game of addiction-or rather, compulsions, urges, fixations, obsessions, whatever you want to call it.  It moves around.  If it ain't here, where did it go?

My heart goes out to all of us who have this challenge.  They say, "The truth will set you free." I believe it.

H...honesty
O...open-mindedness
W...willingness to accept

Over and over this threads in my recovery.  How honest can I be?  About me, myself and I? Not about you and others...just about me.  Where do I put myself in harm's way? How do I contribute to the problem?  What's my part in it? I see now why the old teachers taught by asking questions.  It was a method of discovery and learning.

I've ducked and dodged questions for so long.  A memory comes rising out of the mists of childhood where my mother asked me a thousand and one questions.  It seemed no matter what I answered, it wasn't good enough.  I was gonna get a whipping.  I hated her and I hated her questions.  Most of all I hated having to answer them.

Now, I'm a big girl with big girl panties plus now I get to ask the questions of myself in a kind, loving, lovable way.  I can give me a sweet, accepting, compassionate hug and encourage myself to keep on keeping on the High Road of Recovery, one step at a time, one day at a time.

For this, I am grateful.

Dear Creator, thank YOU for all the showers of YOUR blessings YOU bestow on us all today, tomorrow and yesterday.  As YOU Will.  Love, Carol