A volunteer or a victim and 2 doors

Well, the family disease is doing fine and well. My granddaughter is in a pscyhiatric facility because she's threatened suicide. Plus,she doesn't want me to visit her. She told her mother that I don't love her like her older brother (who recently went to the Army). When she was asked by her father why she felt like killing herself, she said because they didn't love her like they loved her younger sisters, they did more for them. Jeesh. The nut doesn't fall far from the tree. I can totally relate to her. I put her and the rest of the family in God's Hands.

NOBODY's ever loved me the way I wanted them to love me. I'm not sure anyone possibly could. Not even sure it's humanly possible! LOL No matter what they say, or how they say it, or what they do or not do. One more time...it's an inside job. I KNOW this, I have the data, the information in my brain...but...it has to travel all the way to my heart...instead of outer space...inner space.

I went to an Al-Anon meeting last night and it was about self-esteem. The chairperson defined she only wanted people sitting in the inner circle to share and if there was time, people sitting outside the inner circle could speak. I hardly ever sit in the inner circle, mainly because I like to put my purse on the table instead of the floor, take notes, sometimes knit, etc.

At first, I felt angry. I thought and feared she had "control issues", was excluding me, was this and that. Then I felt relieved. I could just listen to hear what was said. Then I felt relaxed and went with the flow. Nice. Let Go and Let GOD, baby...yep. It works when I work it.

Day by Day, November 6, "We must never too narrowly define our work. Book-thumpers, hardnosers, do-it-on-your-own-timers...all of us contribute. And those who need our particular brand of help will be brought to us by GOD. Am I receptive to new and different ways?"

November 7, "Many...character defects stem from social acceptance motives...we don't need or have to "people please", only "GOD-please"...Knowing this, many defects no longer exist. Do I know it is not necessary to please everybody all the time?"

Click here to read beautiful Daily Reflections ...

ODAT, "GOD is present in all His creatures, but all are not equally aware of His presence."

Courage to Change, "If one person gets well, the whole family situation improves."

Hope for Today, November 6, "With those I do trust, I can be more flexible. If I allow my boundaries to be violated repeatedly, I am a volunteer rather than a victim. It's my responsibility to stick with people who are affirming and trustworthy and to limit my exposure to those who are not.

November 7, "I had a habit of doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results...was given an exercise to practice.
"When someone says something to me and I have a strong reaction---wanting to cry, wanting to rage, or thinking I am inferior---I stop and visualize 2 doors. One is marked "Same old, same old" or "My will". The other is marked "New and different" or "God's Will"...imagine opening mine and viewing what I would normally say or do...close my door and open God's.
"By the time I have done this, I've given myself several moments between the initial comment and my impulsive reaction...gives me time to practice the slogan "Think" and to choose a healthier response...to practice this self-restraint. Ironically, most times what's behind God's door is absolutely nothing...possibly mean that other people's behavior belongs to them and I don't have to make it mine by reacting to it?
"Practicing detachment before I react allows me to maintain self-esteem by choosing my response."

Dear Sweet Lord, thank YOU for the bountiful blessings YOU bestow upon us all. Thank YOU for the smiles, the joy, this moment to breathe in YOUR love, grace and compassion. Lord, please help me be of service to YOU and my brothers and sisters in the Spirit. As YOU Will. Love, Carol xoxox