Well, I continue to pull out multiple 12 Step mediation books every morning, read the Big Book, How Alanon Works, the 12 & 12's of both programs, etc., etc. I am sooooo on it! LOL Highlighting, underlining, drawing graphic notations in the margins. Whatever it takes for this material to sink in, take hold, counterbalance the old tapes, the old ideas, habits of thinking, etc. Taking on the new. :)
What an adventure!
Also, I am working on a topic-a-day in the Alanon "Blueprint for Progress" 4th Step inventory. Initially, I kept using the AA 4th Step from the perspective of control, judgment, criticizing, fixating, obsessing, trying to "cure", and fearing I "caused" the spiritual problem to begin with. Like it's my fault, I'm to blame. I'm not good enough and I'll never be. That is the illness...it even sneaks itself into the Program or rather, it tries to but cannot stand up to the Power of the Light. So...more will be revealed.
I really l-o-v-e my sponsees because they keep me on my toes, push me to study and apply the Steps, slogans, etc. Jeesh. It really does take courage to change. :)
Dear Higher Power, please help me today to stay honest, openminded and willing just for today. Please give me the strength, courage and wisdom to do YOUR will. Love, Carol xoxox
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