Criticizing

Well, yesterday I felt a strong, weepy moment as I thought of my daughter moving away.  I can be such a drama queen.  Jeesh.  Instead, let me celebrate and enjoy the thought she has wings to fly.  To choose her own life's path of adventures to and fro.  Lord, please help me let go and get out of the way.  I put her in YOUR awesome, loving hands.  as YOU Will.

Anyway, it's been a while but I remember a time when Sho was really into criticizing me.  I felt worse and worse.  Every tactic I used to stop him just didn't seem to work until finally I jokingly told him one night, "You know what, Sho?  All that criticizing you're doing is not you.  That's a demon of criticism."  When I told him that he reacted as if I'd reached across space and slapped him because he jerked back.  "What do you mean?," he asked.  I talked with him about how I knew he loved and cared for me, how he looked out for me, helping me.  The criticism wasn't loving but was controlling, hateful, uncaring.  That's not how I saw him.  It's been such awhile that I'd forgotten about it but just the other day it reared its ugly head again and I said, "Are you criticizing me?" Poof.  It was gone.

Hmmm...

April 22..."Lord, help me today to face what I really am and to stop using excuses to avoid the task of learning...New soil---new roots...Love can replace hate when I can bring myself to nurture it with hope, and with faith in the inherent goodness of another human being..It's so important to concentrate on the first three Steps long enough to build a strong spiritual foundation....Kindness, compassion, love and humor.  Instead of weighing me down, these lift me up into the light and life of recovery."

Dear Creator, thank YOU so much for the love YOU bestow.  Thank YOU for the abundance of beauty, compassion and mercy.  As YOU Will.  Love, Carol xoxox