The Bunny Trail of Thoughts

You know, as much as I hunger for recovery, relief from the misery of the spiritual malady, and groan and moan when it strikes where I really don't want it to---you'd think I'd do the work.  Get a piece of paper, pencil or pen, sit my ass down and DO IT!

It's true.  Pain is a great motivator.  The more it hurts, the more willing I am to go to any lengths to stop the suffering...and to stay away from it at all costs.  Because it really hurts.  Deep, deep inside.

The problem is....I just can't see my part in it.  Denial is incredibly potent.  I can't see it even if it's right there in front of my own two eyes.  It's invisible.  Even if you can see it and you tell me, "Look, Carol.  It's right there.  And it looks like this and that."  I just can't see it.

When I put pencil to paper, write ALL the crappola that comes to mind regarding my "problem", chase down every rabbit thought down through every rabbit hole and pin them down to paper.  THEN I can "see" the big picture.  My part materializes  The true, exact nature of my problem appears...Ta Da!   LOL

What a relief!

April 14...'As we grow in awareness we are like little children discovering the world all over again...After years in the dark of resentments, I have found the Sunlight.  I must let go of resentments  I cannot afford them...Listing the good and bad elements in my situation will give me new insight...Today I will pay close attention to what I tell myself.  If necessary, I'll stop in mid-thought, start over, and replace negative illusions with positive thoughts...accept the things I cannot change, as well as appreciate the life my Higher Power has so abundantly given me.'

Dear GOD, YOUR love makes it all worth everything.  Thank YOU for this moment...love, Carol  xoxox