Saturday, June 2, 2012

Light, Polite and Meaningless

In 1993, when I first went to AA, I kept everything to myself. I didn't want anyone knowing what I thought or how I felt.

In 2006, when I first came to Al-Anon, I walked around in the world ready to say anything that entered my mind.  Unfortunately most of the material was of my past or present traumas, deep, profound, and disturbing events...well, in my mind they were. Most of the time I was either deeply sad or angry. I would tell anybody that looked like they were kind of listening all my business...whether they really wanted to know or not.

After one of the Sunday night Al-Anon meetings, some of us went to a local Mexican restaurant and enjoyed dinner.  I talked about how I hated to visit my relatives because a lot of the time I was sucked into the vortex of pain in the family pathology.  One of the Al-Anons told me," it's okay to keep it light, polite and meaningless especially when you want to stay out of the drama".  Wow.  I use the "Light, polite and meaningless" with family, coworkers, etc.  Not all the time, just when it may be in my best interest to avoid volunteering to be the solution to their problems, as if they don't have a Higher Power.  Jeesh.  I'm not perfect at this but I am getting better!  Yeah!

Another of my Al-Anon friends created a small card that was adorable. On it were written some reminders on how to stay out of the drama.  These are some of the ones I remember and will add the rest of them later on, when and if I remember them too!

1.  MYOB--- mind your own business (people pay thousands of dollars in treatment to learn this skill!)
2.  Be kind and polite
3.  Don't ask questions
4.
5.


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