Party of One...aka the "Pity Party"

Well, this morning I'm feeling sorry for myself.  I have some kind of stomach bug so I won't be leaving the house today until I feel better.  My self-care becomes the focus.  I'll do this by drinking lots of water, avoid solid food, etc.

One time I visited an AA meeting where there was a beautiful, older, fast thinking, smooth talking woman who quoted pages from her memory of the big book, "Alcoholics Anonymous".  Fascinating.  Everything she said made perfect sense and she seemed perfect.  Wow.  It seemed as if she had arrived to a place of perfection.  I kept waiting  for a twinkle of sunshine to sparkle from one of her perfect, white, gleaming teeth.  I immediately felt drawn to her and I thought, "I want to be like her."  It was like I was meeting a "movie star" of the program!  Anyway, during the meeting I disclosed how imperfect I felt, it was a low day for me and how working the Steps help change my attitude and focus.  Blah, blah. After the meeting, this beautiful, perfect woman told me how I shouldn't ever feel this way and started to tell me how I should be, think, feel and believe. Wow...fascinating...and I realized I just want to be me.  I felt grateful and humbled.

Today I thank her and my Higher Power (that I choose to call GOD) for the opportunity to grow-up just a little bit more in the 12 Steps program...one day at a time.