Tonight I take the residents at the shelter, those who want to go, to see the Nutcracker ballet. We were given free tickets. Yeah!
Many years ago, I felt stressed, put-out, worried and frazzled about these events. It meant my work day would stretch into the night, so much to do extra, and how come it had to be me? Why couldn't it be someone else? But it was important they had a good time so I kept a damper on my negative attitude and tried to present as if I "enjoyed" the event. Inevitably, some time during the evening I became enchanted with the music, the milling dressed-up crowd, the swirling colors and dancing ballerinas then I "forgot" about how much a hassle it was to take the residents to the ballet. Instead I relaxed and truly enjoyed the experience plus the added pleasure of being of service, providing an opportunity for them to have an outing. How many times have I heard, "Miss Carol, thank you. I've never been to see a ballet." The bedazzled looks, happy smiles. So different. Now, I embrace these moments because I've seen the magic happen, over and over.
In meetings, I've heard over and over pretty much the same things. The trick for me has been to act like I've never heard it before. Keep it fresh. When I open my mind to hear recovery language I will hear the solution as it appears. Like magic, I guess. I show up to a meeting. I feel rattled, shook up, despairing. After the meeting, I feel empowered, juiced up, ready to go out there and live my life.
Today my focus is on what makes me happy. What surrounds me in my environment that I truly enjoy, love and appreciate? What is in my space that I really don't want, like, enjoy, or actually can't stand? I am responsible to take care of myself. Let it begin with me...
Dear Higher Power, please show me the way YOU want me to go. As YOU will. Love, Carol xoxox
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