Tradition 3

AA's original long form Tradition 3:

Our membership ought to include all who suffer from alcoholism. Hence we may refuse none who wish to recover. Nor ought A.A. membership ever depend upon money or conformity. Any two or three alcoholics gathered together for sobriety may call themselves an A.A. group, provided that, as a group, they have no other affiliation.

The short form:

The only requirement for A.A. membership is a desire to stop drinking.


Alanon's 3rd Tradition:

The relatives of alcoholics, when gathered together for mutual aid, may call themselves an Al-Anon Family Group, provided that, as a group, they have no other affiliation. The only requirement for membership is that there be a problem of alcoholism in a relative or friend.

I've heard the main idea of this tradition is "singleness of purpose".  So the AA Fellowship stays focused on recovery from "alcohol", NA stays focused on "narcotics", CA stays focused on "cocaine", etc.  It seems to me, this Tradition provides an invitation, an open welcome to all those who desire to participate in each Fellowship's efforts to live Life.

How I apply this tradition to my personal life is:

The only requirement for membership in a relationship is a desire to connect.  This applies to maintaining relationships with my Higher Power, Self, spouse, children, siblings, job, boss, co-workers, sponsor, sponsees, finances, possessions, etc.  

And just because I want or desire a relationship doesn't necessarily mean someone else wants a relationship with me so I've learned to honor the process of relationships...some last a moment in time, while others stretch into eternity.   "Singleness of Purpose" in this instance, for me, applies to when I am in a relationship with my life partner...that is where I am.  He doesn't need to worry I'm out there looking for someone to take his place, etc.  Neither does my employer, my sister, etc. unless I no longer desire to stay in the relationship.  That's my right to choose as it is their right to choose whether to continue the relationship or not.  

Dear Higher Power, thank YOU for YOUR loving, healing light shining this morning.  YOU are so amazingly awesome and I feel grateful to know YOU love me.  Thank YOU again and again.  Love, Carol xoxox