I l-o-v-e the readings this morning, as usual. I need this time. To reflect, connect, be at peace...with my Higher Power. It's like gassing-up the car, recharging the battery...empowering, refocus, get on track, head in the right direction...What good is being all-charged up but heading in a destructive, unhealthy, negative direction? Self-driven. GOD-driven. Which will it be?
I suppose the blog is too long and I could've, would've, should've written shorter notes for reference but I'm selfish in this way. I need the reference material as concise as possible. Later on, some unknown future day, when feeling like crappola, my future self can read this and feel better, I'm sure. She'll know I'm thinking and caring about her. I am here. All along...not alone.
Day by Day, "Our prayers are always answered, but sometimes the answer is "No."...There is another saying in our program that makes a lot of sense to us, "We should work every day as if everything depended on us, and pray every day as if everything depended on GOD."...Lord, I may not have lived up to my capabilities in the past, but I can start now with YOUR help."
Daily Reflections, p.195, "When I, without falsely diminishing myself, accept my honest limitations and turn to GOD's guidance, my worst faults become my greatest assets."
One Day at a Time in Al-Anon, 187, "'The non-alcoholic in the family doesn't seem to realize that the alcoholic is in a terrible vulnerable position. He must be constantly on guard, because he knows, deep down inside, how much trouble he is bringing to the family. He knows he is wide open to criticism.
"But did it ever occur to you that your tantrums and harsh words are like whipping a sick dog? Remember, he's lashing himself---all the time. If you apply more lashes, you're inviting him to transfer some of his guilt to you. This can keep him from hitting his 'bottom' and realizing how much he needs help to find sobriety.'
"...will try to understand how desperately the alcoholic suffers from guilt...will not yield to the impulse to kick him when he is down. We both suffer in different ways from alcoholism. I, who have GOD's gift of sobriety, must be the one to realize his dissatisfaction with himself, no matter how defiant and defensive he may appear."
Courage to Change, p.187, "...detachment is the freedom to own what is mine and to allow others to own what is theirs. This freedom allows me to keep my own identity and still love, care about, and identify with the feelings of others...I can identify without needing to remove their pain...Today I don't have to like everything my alcoholic loved one says or does, and I don't have to change her, even when I think she's wrong. I continue to learn how to care without taking everything personally...can detach and still love, still feel...can learn to take care of my own business while allowing others to tend to theirs. Today I can detach without losing compassion." A quote from George Herbert, "Love your neighbor, yet pull not down your hedge."
As We Understood, p.245, "Emerging out of a cocoon of being dependent on others was hard work...scary....Learning who I was and what I needed and wanted was a slow process of learning and re-learning...like a film was being removed and my sight was being restored...had depended on others for my security, my well-being, and my happiness...let others make my decisions for me. I knew all the ways to get someone else to do just that. If my cocoon was threatened, I drew up tight inside of it and withdrew from others for awhile.
"I am the one who built the webs around myself...With GOD's help and guidance, am growing wings...relationships more meaningful...world is broader...faith is deeper...respect myself more. I do not have to live in your image anymore; therefore, I can see who you are, too. Sight restored, my hearing got better too. I can hear what you like, what you need, without being threatened...can learn from you and retain my uniqueness...can share with you and not expect you to live in my image...Today, I am building on the good qualities I have. Taking a look at the things that obstruct my own growth and accepting the whole of me, knowing the things I still do not like about myself, I can change, with faith and patience. I know this is true because I have the experience of the changes I have already made behind me."
In All Our Affairs, p.172, titled Taking Time to Decide, "...been asked by my spouse to take on a big responsibility, one I don't know if I can handle. I agree it needs to get done, but when I'm really honest with myself, I don't want to do it. I want to do GOD's will, but I'm not sure what He wants me to do. It scares me that He might want me to tackle this job...sponsor tells me to take a while to decide...about what's right for me, not designed to please...husband or to relieve any fear of disapproval from others...suggested making a list of pros and cons...often heard that if we make a decision we feel is right for us, it will be right for everyone concerned...faced with a comparable situation, she tells GOD she doesn't want to do it, and if He wants it of her, would He please put the desire in her heart? So that is what I tell GOD every morning."
Dear Sweet Lord Almighty GOD of What Was-Is-Will Be-Might Be-and Won't Ever Be, wow! YOU're The Greatest, The One, The Source of it all. Thank YOU for the privilege of Life. Of breath. Of all the gifts YOU bestow on us all. Lord, I pray for knowledge of YOUR Will and the courage, strength, wisdom, and the Willingness to Accept and TO DO IT. Lord, please help me be of maximum benefit to YOU and my brothers and sisters. As YOU Will. Love, Carol
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