My brother

I haven't seen him in such a long time and I feel horrified to see what condition he is in.  My 52 year old brother is dying.  His earlier addictions were alcohol and other drugs but with harm reduction he no longer does those things. Instead, he sits there guzzling from his constantly replaced  bottle of Coca Cola,, his shallow dazed diabetic eyes, barely living or caring about anything beyond his Klonopin and Zyprexa or the next Marlboro cigarette he will smoke. He doesn't really care if he eats food or not as long as he has the sugary soda, cigarette and medication "to make it all better".  His addictions are in control and killing him.  It's all legal, too.  He buys the soda water and cigarettes at any store plus a doctor at the local mental health agency prescribes the medications that Medicaid pays for.  He's got it made.

I use every strategy I can think of.  I reason, beg, demand, cajole, bargain, bribe, anything I can think of--- then I remember to pray for help.  But his mind is closed, shut tight...nothing gets out, nothing gets in. I can't convince him to stay with me.  He knows I won't co-sign the bullshit   I must let go with love.   

I know my family system is saturated with addictions and none of us will be spared. 

This morning I will use my GOD box.

And I know that there, but for the 12 Steps program and the grace of GOD, go I.