My sister, Debra, owned a small hand-held vacuum cleaner she used on the carpet in her car. She let me use it to clean my car but it only worked for about 10 minutes at a time. Then I would take it inside and plug it into the wall so the battery recharged. The recharging took hours. Then I would use it again for 10 minutes, etc. Although it had the power to clean it didn't have enough power to last long enough to get the job done. I discovered if I plugged it directly into the wall, it had enough power, more than enough. Instead of relying on its own power contained in the battery it functioned best effectively when plugged-in to a source of power greater than itself.
When self-reliance, self-knowledge and self-will run my life...I am in trouble. When I think I know it all... I am in trouble. I know where my best thinking has taken me. "Lack of power" certainly is my dilemma. I do not have the power to know what is best for myself or others although I like to pretend I do because some of my ideas do work out. Some of them don't. This seduces me to think," this time surely it will work". I forget. The GOD idea works all the time. The solution to all my problems is always spiritual. God is the power of the universe, the "juice", the essence of all and is available at all times. I just need to plug in.
"It's not that I am a slow learner, I am a fast forgetter". This is why it is very important for me to start my day with prayer and meditation as clearly laid out on pages 86 to 88 in the big book, "Alcoholics Anonymous". The discipline of doing this every morning gives me structure, a frame of reference, a design for living this day. I plug-in to a power greater than myself, to God. Working the Steps throughout the day help me stay plugged in which is where this recovered alcoholic, addict, codependent, incest survivor, compulsive overeater, thinkaholic, and whatever else I can possibly qualify for... needs to stay. In the solution. Plugged in to my Higher Power.
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