A New Way

Alanon is upper grad school in spirituality.  AA gave me the basics, the fundamentals, the framework of the 12 Steps and Alanon has furthered my spiritual education.  I need all the help I can get and it has been freely given by this program. I feel deeply grateful for the warm, loving welcome and acceptance given by the Alanon fellowship.  The understanding and acceptance is amazing. Al-Anon encourages me to grow in learning to focus on my own recovery to love myself in a healthy way.

One of my big problems is "it's not that I am a slow learner, it's that I am a fast forgetter".  I keep forgetting to work the Steps in all my problems, on a day to day basis, sometimes even minute to minute.

I remember what it was like before when I had no program. My life was all trial and error. I didn't even know if I was coming or going. I kept making things up all the time. Namely guessing, taking risks, and generally not knowing what the hell to do. I depended on my thinking, my intellectual reasoning, as if my mind knew all the answers.  The problem was that most of my problems were generated by my best thinking so I needed to learn a new way of thinking, of living...a design for living life on life's terms.

A kit of spiritual tools was laid at my feet when I came to the rooms of the 12 steps. Now I needed to learn how to use them. That is why I read the literature, go to meetings, call others in the program, and then pass on what I learn.  No longer is it about what I know, for me, it is about keeping an open mind and learning what works.

Using alcohol, pills, food, anxiety, sex, anger, people, etc. as a substitute for my Higher Power never worked for me.  The 12 steps lead me back to what does work. My Higher Power.  "Lack of power was our dilemma". Jeesh...now if only I would only remember that.