The Serenity Prayer

One of the tools I learned to use was the Serenity Prayer.  I had seen the prayer here and there, thought "how nice" then forgot all about it.  But in early sobriety I clung to that prayer for dear life!  I said it over and over in my head, praying desperately for help.  I was so afraid.  Fear dominated me.  I never knew I was internally so fearful because I had numbed my feelings for so much and so long.




I feared life, other people, the weather, earthquakes, food surpluses and food shortages, money matters, etc.  All in my head.  I still tend to spin sometimes but much less often and certainly with not so much intensity. 

The Serenity Prayer was a lifesaver.  It helped me when the Ocean of Life became too much for me, when I felt overwhelmed by waves of situations or emotions. I used the Serenity Prayer so much I decided to sit down and write exactly what it meant to me.

I listed the things I cannot change.  For example, I cannot change the past.  It's done and over with.  I do not have the power to go back and change it.  I cannot undo it.  Also, for example, I cannot reach inside a person and change them.  They are who they are. I wrote down all that I could think of.

I listed the things I can change.  I can change me.  I can change my attitude.  I can change my behavior. Again, I pondered these things then wrote them on my list.  I kept that list for a long time because I had to keep referring to it so much!



 Addictions, whether of people, places, or things, also of thinking, feelings and behaviors...are on a one-way street.  They simply lead, in the long run, to institutionalization or death. I know now that in the latter stages of addiction we are on the last lap of the Road of Destruction.

With the help of my Higher Power and the Fellowships of the 12 Steps, I have a very strong, powerful possibility of personal change.  I know I am not alone.  

It has been possible to change the direction I was headed.  For this I am deeply, profoundly grateful.