Well, this is Day 2 on my food plan...already I get wobbly.The saying is, "I don't have a problem stopping...I've stopped a million times...I have a problem staying stopped."
If nothing else, just for today I do have a program. I have the Steps to help me process the insanity of my thought-life where in the landscape of my mind run the sometimes berserk unresolved feelings and thoughts regarding people, places and things of yesterday, today, and tomorrow. Talk about a hurricane of feelings and thoughts. Before the feeling...I had the thought that generated the feeling. My thoughts trigger emotional responses wherein lie the irritable, restless and discontent symptoms of the illness. Which in turn, can trigger the impulse to act-out physically.
As long as I keep the plug in the jug, leave the drugs (a donut can be a drug) alone, avoid laying a bet, avoid shopping compulsively, avoid eating compulsively, avoid venting my emotions on anyone, or avoid whatever else I may have a problem with, I keep the physical phenomena of craving contained. I have a chance. Otherwise, I don't. Otherwise, I'm in the grip. The vortex of the control/release, guilt/shame/remorse cycle of addiction which never gets better, just worse and worse with each relapse. Just a matter of time.
How to stop the crap? Work the Steps.
Step 1...Love, Carol x0x0x
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