On My Knees...

Remember I wrote yesterday I planned to get down on my knees?  Didn't do it.

I can tell it on myself.  :)

That's what is different today in sobriety than ever before.  I could tell it on YOU but not me, no way.  I had a strong commitment to "Gotta look good, avoid looking bad".  What others thought of me was vitally important, more important than what I thought of me.  I was quick to berate me, put me down, tell me things that if it was someone else telling me these things I'd want to fight them.

Today I actually catch myself thinking sweet, kind, gentle reminders or re-directions to myself.  "It's okay, sweetie.  You can try again tomorrow, or next time."  I'm not so hard on me.  And not so hard on others.

It's about progress, not perfection.  Yep.

I'm getting down...on my knees...right now...instead of waiting for life's circumstances to dictate this...I willingly, voluntarily submit to my Higher Power.  As GOD wills...so be it.  Love, Carol  xoxox