I did a search at http://anonpress.org/bb/index.htm. In the first 164 pages of the Big Book of "Alcoholics Anonymous" the word honesty shows up 6 times:
Page 58 ...of being honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty. Their chances are less than average. There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest. Our stories disclose in a general way...
Page 73: open
...all right, but hung on to some of the worst items in stock. They only thought they had lost their egoism and fear; they only thought they had humbled themselves. But they had not learned enough of humility, fearlessness and honesty, in the sense we find it necessary, until they told someone else all their life story. More than most people, the alcoholic leads a double life. He is very much the actor. To the outer world he presents his stage...
...all right, but hung on to some of the worst items in stock. They only thought they had lost their egoism and fear; they only thought they had humbled themselves. But they had not learned enough of humility, fearlessness and honesty, in the sense we find it necessary, until they told someone else all their life story. More than most people, the alcoholic leads a double life. He is very much the actor. To the outer world he presents his stage...
Page 65 ...We went back through our lives. Nothing counted but thoroughness and honesty. When we were finished we considered it carefully. The first thing apparent
Page 140 ...above-board chap could be so involved. But these scrapes can generally be charged, no matter how bad, to the abnormal action of alcohol on his mind. When drinking, or getting over a bout, an alcoholic, sometimes the model of honesty when
Page 145 ...example, reveal that he has padded his expense account or that he has planned to take your best customers away from you. In fact, he may say almost anything if he has accepted our solution which, as you know, demands rigorous honesty. Can you charge this off as you would a bad account and start fresh with him? If he owes you money you may wish to make terms. If he speaks of his home situation, you can undoubtedly make helpful suggestions. Can he...
Page 13 ...when these things were done I would enter upon a new relationship with my Creator; that I would have the elements of a way of living which answered all my problems. Belief in the power of God, plus enough willingness, honesty and humility
This word is also on page 570 of the 3rd Edition..."Willingness, honesty and open mindedness are the essentials of recovery. But these are indispensable."
I am a natural born liar, or more genteelly put, a natural born storyteller. Am I a truth-teller or a compulsive truth-teller? Is there a difference? Do I tell the truth about you much quicker than the truth about me? What about the saying, "Truth without love is brutality. Love without truth is people-pleasing."? Where does that fit in the truth-telling continuum?
Do I tell the truth when I know it will be used to discriminate against me? What is the difference between honesty and stupidity? Or do I only tell the truth about things that can be found out? Do I pick and choose the truth of what I know or just throw it all out there causing injury to myself or others?
The truth for me is...I live with me, day and night. "To thine own self be true." works for me because other people's tolerance for fudging and smudging the truth might work for them but for me, my experience is I must be rigorously honest in all things, except when to do so would be injurious. My experience is to call a person strong in the program and consult with them. My experience is go to page 86 and meditate. My experience is...take it all to my Higher Power and ask for G.ood O.rderly D.irection. My experience is...I don't always know what is the next best thing so I submit to a Power greater than myself that DOES KNOW and I ask for help. GOD is everything or nothing.
And I love page 60 where it says: "God could and would if He were sought. Being convinced, we were at Step Three, which is that we decided to turn our will and our life over to God as we understood Him." because as I stand at the crossroads in my daily life, there are multiple opportunities to make the decision to turn it over in all my relationships...even my relationship with "honesty" and how it applies to everything else.
Me, myself and I are not the solution but are much more likely to be the cause of most of my problems. The Higher Power is the solution, the spiritual solution to all my problems. It's easy to say...hard as heck to do at times. I feel grateful this program is about progress and not perfection...jeesh. Love, Carol xoxox
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