Starquakes, earthquakes and other fears

I can relate to Anita who is on the youtube video shared on this blog yesterday.  I was so afraid of so many things, even of my own shadow.  I feared fear.  I'm so typical it's ridiculous.  Anyway, I lived with obsessing that I didn't want to fear but that's how I felt inside for the most part.  If nothing was happening in my daily world that gave me anxiety, worry or fear there was something wrong so I looked for more to worry, fear, obsess about.  I looked for material to do this with.  For instance one morning I read in fascinated horror at Yahoo.com that scientists speculated a star had a starquake  far away on some distant galaxy may have triggered the deadly December tsunami which killed a great many people.  I reeled with the realization of how far external events which none of us even knew about could have such devastating effects on the earth we inhabit.   I felt devastated by how powerless I am over not only that but a long list of other stuff I just have no power over.  I weebled-wobbled, reeled with the emotional terror of it all.  I went to an Alanon meeting that evening and shared the humongous, out of control enormity of the starquake and elaborated on how I  seem to fixate on such things.  By the time I was through talking we were all laughing.  What a relief!

When I arrived at the meeting the starquake was my reality.  By the end of the meeting I was no longer in the outer spaces of my creative, negative, speculating thoughts.  Instead I was grounded in the here and now where I am at my most powerful when connected and guided by my Higher Power.  As I  Let Go and Let GOD, I relax and wholeheartedly trust GOD has it all covered.  My experience is the quality of life improves so much when I'm lovingly living my present moments instead of wastefully squandering them so carelessly wrapped in the "past"-urizing or "future"-izing of my best "thinking".  Now if only I can remember to stay in the now and stop hiding out in the past or future...practice, practice, practice.  Thank GOD it's about progress, not about perfection..  .