Comparing One's Self to Others

Along the pathway of my recovery are so many gifts from the Universe.  One of those gifts is a book that I believe is one of the greatest books Dr. Wayne Dyer, a philosopher of our times, wrote.  "Your Erroneous Zones".  In 1993, Charity recommended this book so I forced myself to read it.  A huge resistance kept getting in the way.  I was too sleepy, too tired, too busy, too anything than finish that darn book!  But I did.  Dr. Dyer, or rather, Wayne has no idea the hope, inspiration and epiphanies this book gave me.  It was like a huge light shone on the dark crannies of my life.  I gave a copy to my brother, another copy to my sister, etc.  I have a hard-copy that's falling apart but I also have a copy on my Kindle, too.  Wow.  The times we live in.  What a privilege.  

Around 1999 I paid $325.00 which left me with $25 to survive until payday.  I paid this money so I could attend the Landmark Forum.  Now I don't know if you've ever heard of the Landmark Forum but it was like being in a room for a long time and listening to an intensive, comprehensive, all-encompassing narrative of stuff.  In the material covered were, for example:  what's the difference between a rock rolling down a hill and a human being rolling down a hill?  Answer:  the human being has a story about rolling down the hill.  There were many, many different perspectives and ideas crammed in these sessions.  Another one that stands out in my mind is:  98% of the world is cynical and resigned so it works from the perspective "Gotta Look Good, Avoid Looking Bad".  2% are extraordinary, outside the box, authentic, game free.

 I walked around most of my life wishing I was someone else other than me.  I fantasized other people had it made.  They were luckier, smarter, cuter, etc.  Basically, just better and certainly more interesting.  Period.   They "looked" that way.

Then, in 2006, Alanon Mary #1 helped me see the hurt which appears when I compare myself to others.  She said I'm comparing my insides to their outsides and this is like comparing apples to oranges.  Every time I make comparisons somebody wins and somebody loses.  Usually me.  I remember my mom making comparisons.  "Why aren't you more like so-and-so, she's so ____ and ____ but you're not.  You need to be more like her than the way you are."  She may have been the one who planted the seed of this enormous erroneous weed but I'm the one who nurtured and pampered it.  That's my part in it.

Working the 12 and 12 is an "inside" job.  Working this program helps me alongside my Higher Power to re-move the weeds in my garden of Life so I can grow and blossom in the Sunlight of the Spirit.  As I do the work, keep the focus on doing my part this naturally affects other people and so-on.  They get to blossom without my weeds blocking some of their views, too.  "Let it begin with me..."