Keep on Keeping on

Yesterday I drove Hunter to the County Sheriff's Department to pick up the police report regarding the accident which happened last Tuesday.  I paid $6.00, thanked the clerk for her assistance then I walked back outside to my car.  I sat in the driver's seat, took a deep breath and finally read the report.

I started crying when I saw the diagram of the collision because it looked exactly like how it happened and the officer who investigated verified what I'd been saying all along.  The other driver hit me.  I didn't hit him. And I didn't cause him to hit me.  He failed to yield right of way. Wow.  What a relief.

Today, finally, I get to visit the doctor's office to get a medical assessment prior to returning to work.  I plan to take the medical discharge paperwork from the emergency room visit last week and the collision diagram so the medics have a clear understanding on how my body was impacted.  I know now to take these matters seriously because sometimes the true extent of injuries are not immediately discernible.  I still have some body stuff bothering me and this is to be expected since it's only been a week.  I'm praying for full recovery as I honor my body and listen to its aches and pains because it doesn't lie.  It's telling me it's truths.  I just need to pay attention.  I put all this in my Higher Power's hands.

Denise called to check on me yesterday and I so enjoyed our conversation.  We laughed heartily about the "if it ain't hard, give me a minute" blog and also talked about "the 1000th view" where I work my Steps online, illustrating how I work them all.   Lara also gave positive feedback on how reading this blog helps her refocus.  I feel grateful and humble to be of service.  I talked with AA Andie the other day and told her  my first sponsor, Charity, gave just enough direction to help me get a toehold on the 12 Steps program.  She said to keep reading the big book, "Alcoholics Anonymous", make a gratitude list every day, keep turning all problems over to the Higher Power, work the Steps to the best of my ability, it's not about perfection, and to thank GOD at the end of the day.  I never remember Charity telling me to not drink.  She said if I did these other things I wouldn't want to drink because the compulsion would be removed, that drinking and the 12 Steps are like oil and water...they don't mix.  She did encourage me to remember, "If you forget your last drunk, you haven't had it yet." which leads to "The only good drunk is the last one".  So what works for me is remembering how I felt when I first arrived in the rooms of the 12 Steps.  I was beatdown terribly, ready to do anything they told me because anything was better than what I felt like then.  Now I know whenever I feel like I want to take a drink, a "chill" pill, etc. I can take a Step instead.

It does get better...thank GOD, the 12 Steps and the fellowships of the different Societies.  I am no longer on the outside looking in.  So I "keep coming back because it works when I work it".

P.S.  I just received a telephone call from the doctor's office because my appointment is now rescheduled for tomorrow at 4pm!  Jeesh.  What do I do????  My anxiety flares up...Remember to breathe...pause when agitated.  The spiritual life is not a theory.  It's okay if I don't work it "right" or "perfectly" because I'll get plenty of opportunities to practice working the Steps on all my affairs, every day of my life, as long as I'm alive.  Living Life on Life's terms.  It's a design for living proven by countless others to work...if I work it.

Step 1...I am powerless over my doctor's office need to reschedule my appointment......