The 1000th View

Thank you for reading my blog to where the posts have been viewed 1000 times!  Amazing!  Who knew?  Wow.  Truth is I'm easy to impress especially with this blog stuff because it's new and kind of interesting to participate in.  If any of you start a blog please let me know!  I'd love to read it, especially if it's about recovery.

Well, yesterday in the afternoon, I tentatively drove my bashed car to a body collision shop and Johnny, the owner,  looked it over.  He applied a big, long-handled tool to the part of the car that keeps rubbing a tire but it didn't work.  He said my car is totaled.  In other words, it will cost more money to fix than what the car is worth.  I grieve this.  Not only because of the economics of the situation but because I love my 2000 Toyota Corolla that's name is "Hunter".  About 8 years ago I purchased it from my son, Beau, and his wife, Bonny.  Hunter's been very good to me.  A gift from the Universe indeed.

Today the insurance adjuster makes a decision about liability, in other words, whose fault was the accident, who caused it.  This will determine whether Hartford Insurance is going to help with Hunter or not plus assist with any medical costs. If not, I will secure legal representation to prove what I told the officer at the scene.  I saw the other driver talking on his phone, he didn't see me at first and by the time he did it was too late, he drove right into Hunter.  I still feel angry because I fear what all will be the consequences from this accident.  I'm still sore and experiencing some nausea.  I'll see my doctor today.  Jeesh.

Well, this is where I hunker down and work my program.  One day at a time, sometimes a minute at  time and this is how I work it:

Step 1...I'm powerless over the past, the accident that happened on Tuesday, the other driver talking on his phone, his lying that he wasn't talking on his phone, Hunter being hurt, my body being hurt, not going in to work....the un-manageability is where I feel it's all my responsibility as if my best thinking is going to save me from this situation. It didn't save me from the wreck.

Step 2...There is a Higher Power holding this Universe together and it isn't me.  I am not the Center of the Universe...my concept of the Great Spirit, the Boss of the Universe is what I choose to call GOD.

Step 3...Dear GOD, I give myself to You.  Please relieve me of my self-centered EGO that lives to run life into chaos for myself and others. Please use me to be of service to Your Will that others can see Your Power, Your Glory, Your Love and that Your Way of Life really is best ...love, Carol

Step 4...I resent the driver & the accident  because this caused a lot of pain. This affects my security, finances and ambitions.  My part in this is I continued to rely on my best thinking to outsmart the problem instead of relying on my Higher Power.  My ideal is I will instead lean on my Higher Power for the solutions to ALL my problems.

Step 5...my shortcoming is arrogance, to name one

Sep 6...do I really want this removed? Are there others that keep blocking?  More will be revealed.

Step 7...Dear GOD, please remove the arrogance from me so I can be of maximum service to You and others.  May I do Your Will always...love, Carol

Step 8...I am willing to put the driver on my amends list..  I owe him an amends because I verbally lashed out at him.  I didn't cuss him out or threaten him.  I vented how angry I felt.  It wasn't a good time to do this.  He was in pain, too, emotionally and mentally if not physically.

Step 9...I will discuss how to make amends to the driver with my sponsor before doing anything.

Step 10...I will continue to take personal inventory and when I make a mistake, promptly admit it.

Step 11...I will continue to pray and meditate on a daily basis and when in doubt or agitated...I will pause, stop what I'm doing...and turn it all over as I ask for guidance to the next right thing to do.

Step 12...as a happy result of working these Steps, I get a spiritual experience in I feel connected to my Higher Power, on purpose and of benefit to myself and others in a caring, positive, loving way.  I carry the message to others that these Steps work as I use these Steps on all my relationships, for instance, my relationship with money, with time, with me, with others, the past, the future, etc.  Fill in the blank.

GOD bless us all as we journey today in the Sunlight of the Spirit.

P.S.  I just remembered my GODbox so I'll write on a piece of paper a brief one sentence description of this situation, fold the paper into a little wad and push it into the box.  Just a symbolic gesture of Letting Go and Letting GOD.  This helps, too.