Neuroplasticity and the 12 Steps

Writing this blog is interesting because I haven't the faintest idea what the heck the topic is going to be most of the time and the surprise is what I end up writing!  There are times I visit my blog during the day to re-read it and feel connected to the Source of where some of this material must surely come from.  Hey, I'm really not all that smart and most of any wisdom I may have comes from the pain of making many, many mistakes. Usually the same ones over and over.  Sometimes the mistakes look different but when I really stop and pay attention they're just camouflaged because I am a creature of habit.  I repeat patterns of thoughts, feelings and behaviors.

Another way of saying this is there are neuropathways grooved in my brain by early life experiences that benefit from the cognitive restructuring of the 12 Steps program.  Those old pathways are survival mechanisms which probably saved my life many times in certain circumstances.  Denial, for instance, has a major highway.  Giving up.  Fighting or not fighting.  Self-abuse.  Abuse by others.  Isolation.  Neglect.  Bowing down to others.  Rationalizing.  Low self-esteem.  Justifying.  Lying.   Hero-worship.  Withdrawal.  Not fitting in.  Minimalizing.  Shame.  Criticizing.  Sexism.  Racism.  Any ism. One-ups-manship by putting someone down so I can feel superior as if that makes me better than them.  Put downs.  Sarcasm.  Bucking-up to others to intimidate.  Needing more, more, more of _________ fill in the blank.  Gossiping.  Alphabet-worship as if a college degree makes a person better, smarter, more than another who doesn't have a college education.  Guilt.  Not enough.  Acting out.  No matter what, can't win for losing.  Manipulating.  Lying by omission.  Clinging to others.  Etc. Just to name a few.

The discipline of working the 12 Steps program on a daily basis helps me stop old patterns that may have saved my life at one time but no longer help.  The black and white visual of reading the material, the audio of talking heads at online recordings, big book discussions and speaker meetings, plus "the suit up and show up", putting pencil to paper kinesthetics are a package deal in recovery.  It takes all of this for someone like me to change those old ways neuropathways of being that no longer work.  Plus I'm s-l-o-w.  In a room full of people I'm probably going to be the last one to get it, to catch on to what I need to know.  A turtle.  Jeesh.

Neuroplasticity Description

I'm still a work in progress.   I've come a long way and have a long way to go but with the help of the 12 Steps and the Fellowship I feel confident of this path that leads to where I want to be...in the Sunlight of the Spirit instead of nowhere in the pit.  I'm probably a lot more adept on "how not to do it" than "how to do it" but apparently it takes all kinds of the Fellowship to carry the message that the 12 Steps work if we work it.  Even a turtle.