For example, the writing on DETACHMENT says that "alcoholism is a family disease. Living with the effects of someone's drinking (I say, "thinking") is too devastating for most people to bear without help...we learn nothing we say or do can cause or stop someone else's drinking (thinking). We are not responsible for someone else's disease or recovery from it. Detachment allows us to let go of our obsession with another's behavior and begin to lead happier and more manageable lives, with dignity and rights, lives guided by a Power greater than ourselves. We can still love the person without liking the behavior."
I also like to change the wording to better suit me. (I'm selfish that way.) For instance, I change "Not to suffer because of the actions or reactions of other people." to "Stop suffering because of the actions or reactions of other people." "Not to allow ourselves to be used or abused by others in the interest of another's recovery." to "Stop allowing ourselves to be used or abused by others in the interest of another's recovery." "Not to do for others what they can do for themselves." to "Stop doing for others what they can do for themselves." "Not to manipulate situations so others will eat, go to bed, get up, pay bills, not drink, or behave as we see fit." to "Stop manipulating situations so others will eat, go to bed, get up, pay bills, stop drinking, or behave as we see fit." "Not to cover up for another's mistakes or misdeeds." to "Stop covering up another's mistakes or misdeeds." "Not create a crisis". to "Stop creating crisis." And last, but not least, "Not to prevent a crisis if it is in the natural course of events." to "Stop preventing a crisis if it is in the natural course of events."
Now...if only I remember this when I need it the most!!! Jeesh. Sincerely, Carol
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