"Me"

You know, today the biggest problem I have is "me".  The monkey on my back is "me".  No matter what I say, no matter what I do, no matter where I go, there I am.  I read in the BB, the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous, on page 103, the last paragraph, "After all, our problems were of our own making.  Bottles (or pills, or compulsive sex, food, gambling, or just fill in the blank__________) were only a symbol.  Besides, we have stopped fighting anybody or anything.  We have to."

I forget.

Next thing I know, I have my gloves on with my hands clinched-up, a fighting stance, back in the fray.  Don't even notice I'm lying...mainly to myself.  Jeesh.  Until I get that Royal Ass-whipping, demoralization...the Gift of Desperation that humbles me, makes me ready to accept I am not running the show.  Submit.  Let Go and Let God.  One more time. Stop fighting....even stop fighting "me".  Embrace "me".

Step 1...