We admitted we were Powerless over

The first word is "WE"....not "me".  I, I, I, me, me, me.  Also....not "You"... like I'm waiting for you to admit your powerlessness or at the very least, let me rush to help you admit your powerlessness.  Isolation, social withdrawal, loneliness are major symptoms of my illness.  "WE" happens when I go to a meeting, listen to an on-line speaker meeting, or pick up the phone to connect with another human being.  This is a critical part of my recovery.

Admitted...the way I was raised, to admit to anything was just asking for it.  Are you kidding?  However, to broadcast, gossip, misrepresent, put-down, malign, character assassinate, cross-out and admit someone else's  stuff was lauded and applauded.  Blame, shame, faultfinding, and fingerpointing at others was survival.  Now, I'm willing to "own" my stuff...not anyone else's.

Powerless...I had a really hard time with this word.  For me, I had to sit down and write a list of what I was powerless over and in what I did have power.  Here's some...

•  I cannot change the past
• I cannot cause, control, cure someone's compulsions or way of being
• I cannot hand health, happiness, sobriety, etc. to others, that's between them and their H.P.
• I cannot make everything smooth, easy, effortless for them.  I am not the solution to other people's problems
• I cannot reach inside other people  to force them to do what I want them to do
• I cannot make them change.  I have no authority or power over any other human being to control their attitudes, beliefs, compulsions, force them to want, etc.
• I can detach myself from the idea that I alone can control and solve another's problem
• I can pray for the wisdom to realize progress begins only when I'm ready to detach
• I can buckle down and learn a different way where I really believe in and practice the Steps
• I can learn to Let Go and Let God

• I can surrender to the idea that I really don't know how to handle the _____situation correctly.  (Alcoholic, gambling, compulsive under/over eating, etc.)
• I can learn to relieve myself of feeling responsible for the _____.  (Alcoholic, gambler, my grown children, my parents, my significant other, the past, etc.)
• I can recognize I am not other people's Higher Power and neither are they mine.
•  I can embrace and acknowledge my human limitations
• I can admit there are problems I cannot cope with alone
• I can admit I need help
• I can pray to acquire the habit of listening and to think about what I'm hearing
• I can learn the use of silence
• I can use and limit my words to what might be of service to others
• I can see how I contribute to the illness and stop contributing
• I can stop trying to control the uncontrollable
• I can connect to my Higher Power that gives me the power to change my life
• I can accept the fact of a situation then decide what to do about it
• I can learn to recognize and correct my mistaken attempts to force a solution
• I can find peace of mind within myself with the H.P.'s power, guidance, strength, grace
• I can lighten my load by dropping that part of it which doesn't belong to me by looking close at my thoughts, feelings and impulses then taking action only as required of me.
• I can learn to mind my own business.
• I can learn the only sure way out of all my difficulties---the spiritual way

• I can learn to pause, relax, accept, go along with, cooperate and receive the freedom from strain and conflict...without co-signing the B.S.
• I can learn to surrender completely instead of just submitting ("to the practical fact I cannot at the moment conquer reality but lurking in the back of my mind,is the feeling..."maybe one day..."  a paraphrase from one of the daily meditation books).
• I can learn to handle my affairs wisely....my affairs are my relationships with people, places and things.  For instance, my money, my lovelife, my family, my past, etc.
• I can learn to dedicate myself to managing my own life, and only mine by surrendering the illusionary reins of control over other human beings and keep the focus on my life, responsibilities, etc.
• I can learn recovery is a selfish program. 
• I can learn the Steps, Traditions, slogans and practice applying them to myself, my life
• I can learn "Let it begin with me" instead of waiting for others to change
• I can learn new habits of thinking and believing by replacing old destructive, learned patterns
• I can learn to evaluate my own actions and to value my own judgment 
• I can love others and that is enough without "rescuing" 
• I can choose to place my trust in the Higher Power and know all is well
• I can pray and meditate every day in an effort to start my day by connecting with my H.P.