We

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. 
Albert Einstein 


Sometimes, it seems to me, insanity is contagious.  Who was crazy first?  Who started it?  It's like the age-old question of which came first, the chicken or the egg.   I used to take full responsibility, like it was all my fault.  Fully convinced there must be something wrong with me, unable to accept the truth, spiraling into a deep depression from anger expressed outward that was crushed back down inward and left bemused, confused, confounded in wondering what happened?

What is the truth that I have such a hard time accepting at times?  That it's not either right or wrong, good or bad, black or white, this or that.  I have a hard time stretching to see the multifaceted, gradient shades, neutral hues.  I want it to be how I see it.  My perspective.  Period.  Non-negotiable.

That's fine, as far as I am concerned but breaks down where others are involved because we all have our own perspectives.  In my family of origin, this was not allowed, promoted or tolerated.  To express a difference of opinion was considered extremely hostile behavior and an attack on the family system itself which must survive at all costs.  At the cost of self-expression and differences of perspective.

The 12 Steps help me keep an open mind and heart to learning a new, different way to live life.  I'm a slow learner but once I get it, I really got it.  Yeah!  A big gift is how the Steps help expand my consciousness and willingness to accept a whole new multifaceted world.  It's not all about me, me, me.   It's about "WE"...evidenced by the first word in the first Step, "We".

Blind Men and the Elephant

poem by John Godfrey Saxe (1816–1887)

It was six men of Indostan
To learning much inclined,
Who went to see the Elephant(Though all of them were blind),
That each by observation
Might satisfy his mind

The First approached the Elephant,
And happening to fall
Against his broad and sturdy side,
At once began to bawl:
“God bless me! but the Elephant's very like a wall!”

The Second, feeling of the tusk,
Cried, “Ho! what have we here
So very round and smooth and sharp?
To me ’tis mighty clear
This wonder of an Elephant
Is very like a spear!”

The Third approached the animal,
And happening to take
The squirming trunk within his hands,
Thus boldly up and spake:
“I see,” quoth he, “the Elephant
Is very like a snake!

The Fourth reached out an eager hand,
And felt about the knee.
“What most this wondrous beast is like
Is mighty plain,” quoth he;
” ‘Tis clear enough the Elephant's very like a tree!”

The Fifth, who chanced to touch the ear,
Said: “E’en the blindest man
Can tell what this resembles most;
Deny the fact who can
This marvel of an Elephant
Is very like a fan!”

The Sixth no sooner had begun
About the beast to grope,
Than, seizing on the swinging tail
That fell within his scope,
“I see,” quoth he, “the Elephant
Is very like a rope!”

And so these men of Indostan
Disputed loud and long,
Each in his own opinion
Exceeding stiff and strong,
Though each was partly in the right,
And all were in the wrong!