Today Elvis gets his vaccinations, etc. It's a responsibility to have a dog and he requires maintenance, too. Anyway, spiritual recovery requires daily maintenance---to do the work. I don't know what, why, how, where the spiral down again
into the abyss happened. It was so gradual, subtle, cunning, powerful. That first Alanon meeting in February 2006 was the wake-up call. It had a strong emotional impact. Like a feral cat submitting to a water bath. It felt extremely uncomfortable, alien, against my "instincts", what I knew. I thought AA would've, could've, should've been the end-all solution to all my insanity...it wasn't for me, apparently.
Even worse was going to Spanish Alanon and finding even deeper levels of healing needed. Jeesh.
It's been one heck of a process ever since. Like being stretched here and there. W-O-N-K-Y indeed. Talk about humbling.
Well, let me tell you, I am f-a-r from being any kind of expert, guru, leader of recovery. I am just another ordinary, run-of-the-mill, garden variety type human being living with the human condition. I've said it before that just being a human being is a diagnosis, imo. LOL Then add on living with the illness of alcoholism, etc. Yep.
"Alcoholics Anonymous", p.85, "What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition. Every day is a day when we must carry the vision of God's will into all of our activities. "How can I best serve Thee - Thy will (not mine) be done."
Dear Higher Power, YOU're awesome. Please help me be of service to YOU and YOUR children. As YOU Will. Love, Carol xoxox
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