Bullshit Sifter or Shifter?

Prior to coming to the 12 Steps program, I could do no wrong. I didn't have a problem. There wasn't anything wrong with me.  I was fine.  It was everybody else that there was something wrong with.  If only they would act, say, believe, feel the ways I thought they should...everything would be fine, hunky-dory.  If only they hadn't done this or that TO me or had done this or that FOR me, everything would've been fine.   OR I'd shift to the position...It was all my fault.  If only, I'd done this or that, or not done this or that.  Poor me.  Self-pity, guilt, blame and shame.

False pride driven by many forms of E.G.O. (Edging GOD Out) could twist and turn...make me look good, others look bad or make me look bad, others look good.  On and on.  This is the way I rolled.  Like I was god.  It was all about me, me, me.  Self-centered.

How I "fixed" situations was by maintaining illusions of control.  As if I knew what was best for everybody involved, doing all I could to contrive an end result mandated by my best visionary skills.  It actually kind of worked sometimes.  J-u-s-t enough to delude  myself that I had the P=o=w=e=r.  Just enough to sucker myself into obsessing, fixating on how others needed to behave so I could have life the way I wanted it to be.  The way it Should be.  The world according to Me.  The World of Me.

Since coming to the 12 Steps I've learned how to apply these simple principles to everyday life.  I no longer see people, places and things in the same way I used to.  Instead of me, it's we.  The program helps me see what's my part in things, how I am contributing to situations.  It helps me see the facts. It's the Bullshit Sifter instead of Bullshit Shifter.  I stop blaming others for what I am responsible for and I stop taking responsibility for what others are responsible.  I'm learning to say what I mean, mean what I say, without being mean.

Love and tolerance is our code, in  deed.  And we cease fighting everything and everybody.  Gradually it's become the way it Can be.  The world according to We.  The World of We.

Instead of "fixing" situations, the Steps take me through a process of shifting my perspective, of Awareness, Acceptance and Action.  I am no longer The Center of the Universe.  I am a participant.  Not the main event.  My Higher Power is.    I ask for help to see the way, the Path to Love.  The serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.  Just for today.  I write the columns to work thru an inventory to clarify my role in what's shaking me up, etc.  It's definitely a journey...

Dear Lord God Almighty Creator, the One, the Source, thank YOU for the gift of Life.  Thank YOU for the opportunity to be here, a part of YOUR glorious creation as it unfolds, unfurls its majestic freedoms to live and Love in YOUR Kingdom.  Please help me do YOUR Will.  As YOU Will.  Love, Carol xoxox