The Pendulum of the Dis---Ease

This morning I read in Daily Reflections, "This very real feeling of inferiority is magnified by his childish sensitivity and it is this state of affairs which generates in him that insatiable , abnormal craving for self-approval and success in the eyes of the world.  Still a child, he cries for the moon, and the moon, it seems, won't have him!" LANGUAGE OF THE HEART, p.102

Seeking the middle of balance rather than swinging back and forth or up and down, I can relate to the "vacillate between feeling totally invisible and believing I was the center of the Universe."  This reminds me of the "struggle to the top of  the heap or hide underneath it."  AA 12 STEPS AND 12 TRADITIONS, p.53

The process of recovery in working the Steps helps me so much in growing up in the places where I got stunted, stuck.  Where distorted, lop-sided, wonky inferiority perception is magnified, looming large or barely minutely noticeable, by immature sensitivity.  Misguided, using binoculars when all that is truly needed is a new pair of glasses.  The Steps are those glasses.  They help me see.  They correct my vision.  They clear the fog.  Now I can see the path, the road I'm on.  Am I heading to quicksand, a perilous drop-off or do I choose another way?  I've learned the softer, easier way is to work the Steps because they lead EVERY TIME, guaranteed, to exactly where I need to be...close to my Higher Power.

Dear THOU Which Rules the Multiverses of What Was-Is-Will Be and Might Be, I love YOU and I thank YOU for loving me.  O Creator, YOU move me with the awesome wonder of YOUR love, compassion, power and grace.  Thank YOU for YOU.  Without YOU I am nothing.  YOU are The One, The Source, The Mostest.  Thank YOU for this breath I take and for the opportunity to be of service to do YOUR Will just for today.  All glory to YOU.  Love, Carol xoxox