Let Go, Let Go, Let Go

I read this morning in Alanon's Hope for Today, p. 110 about "began to look at myself as having "arthritis of the personality", requiring patient continuous care to keep me from "stiffening" into old habits and attitudes".

Old habits of trying to control, dominate, judge, condemn, criticize, gossip, rabble-rebel leader, put-down, manipulate, dishonest, reject, abandon, separate, isolate, withdraw, kill-off others at the expense of me.  Everything I ever said or did to withhold love from others, withheld love from me.  I held in clenched hands close to my chest all the hurts, guilt, resentments, fears, shame, despair, and suffering "in secret" martyrdom, my secret self-pity.  Jeesh.

It's been very difficult for me to let go.  To trust.  To trust there really is a true bonafide Higher Power that truly loves, cherishes, adores, treasures me.  That the love from my Creator shines on us all.  Unconditionally.  I don't have to "earn" it.  I only need receive it, accept it and do my part to stay the heck out of the way.

It's said humility is the common, underlying principle of all the Steps.  I do believe it.  What's my rightful place in the whole Universe?  I must remember to stay humble.  The Higher Power has it all covered.

Dear Sweet Lord GOD Creator of the Multiverses of Existences, thank YOU for the multiple opportunities YOU provide for spiritual growth.  Without YOU, I am nothing.  Thank YOU for the gift of Life and the blessings YOU shower on our growing, budding spirits.  May we bask in YOUR love and to YOUR glory.  Love, Carol xoxox