Sunday, May 5, 2013

Deceiving Oneself

Well, I've been sloping downhill for a bit  Looking around and seeing myself in comparison to others, their recovery process, where they appear to be...guess what I think about me?  My default position...I learned this so well...been programmed...jeesh.

Poor me.  Self-centered, egocentric, selfish, dishonest, manipulative, to the core.  When will I get it right?  LOL  Silly.

I was in conflict yesterday because I wanted to go listen to the speaker at Western Trails AND go to birthday night at 617.  I went to birthday night.  I watched as people got their chips to commemorate their years of sobriety.  Lovely to experience the smiles, the jokes, camaraderie, hugs in that room last night.  Then we ate cake.  Yummy.

Simple, sweet, adorable.  What a good time to be amongst friends in the program.

Dear Heavenly Lord GOD Almighty, YOUR awesomeness presents itself in a simple blade of green grass waving in the wind, the beautiful morning glory flowers, and the trills of the birds while the morning owl's gentle hoots mix in the background.  Lord, please show the way, help support and guide me to be of service to YOU and the still suffering.  I ask YOU help me do YOUR Will in all things.  Without YOU, I am nothing.  YOU are The Source, The One, The All-Powerful.  As YOU Will, Lord.  Love, Carol xoxox


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