The mix of Assets, Defects and Patterns

Wow.  I don't know where to start.  When I came to AA in 1993, I experienced the 12 Step program like a body slam, no holds barred.  Those oldtimers were right on.  And vigorous.  Keep the plug in the jug.  If you don't drink, you won't get drunk.  Do this, do that or your sobriety is at stake which means your life is at stake.  Non-negotiable.  The 12 Steps were not like a buffet of choices where you just take your time, do them if you feel like it, when and how you want to.  Not in AA.  That was not my experience any way.  Do or die.  Period.  I didn't have to do the Steps perfectly because I'd get to use them over and over as tools, spiritual tools to help me learn a new way of living life.

Then came along the Al-anon experience which has been more of a gently unfolding flower bud.  E-a-s-y, s-l-o-w motion.  Do it at a gentle pace, at your own speed.  More like that buffet style I described above.

So...as I read the literature and meet self on just about every page in a myriad of situations and possibilities imaginable, I experience these processes as interwoven.  Different but the same.  "Million dollar programs given a nickel at a time" indeed!

Today's readings were awesome...golden, precious nuggets for the treasure chest...

Day by Day, "If you don't like what you hear at this meeting, leave it here."  The reading referred to some of us leave everything at the meeting because we only listen to what we want to hear and don't want to hear things like, "Work the Steps, you're not better than anyone else." or that the "hard work, things we don't like, are usually the very things that make it possible for us to arrest our disease.  Do I listen to what I need to hear?"

Daily Reflections:  A quote from Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 64, "When the spiritual malady is overcome, we straighten out mentally and physically." It talked about how material success and intellectual power disguise pride.  "Intelligence is not incompatible with humility, provided I place humility first...To be fashionable and to seem better than I really am is a spiritual illness.
     "To recognize and to admit my weaknesses is the beginning of good spiritual health.  It is a sign of spiritual health to be able to ask God to enlighten me, to recognize His will, and to have the strength to execute it.  My spiritual health is excellent when I realize that the better I get, the more I discover how much help I need from others."

One Day at a Time in Al-anon:  "...a new life, which we can achieve only by letting go of what we cannot control, and by undertaking, one day at a time, the monumental task of setting our world in order through a change in our own thinking.
     "I will apply the wisdom of the First Step not only to my relations with the alcoholic, but to all the people and happenings in my life.  I will not attempt to manage or control what is clearly beyond my powers;  I will dedicate myself to managing my own life, and only mine.
     ---"There's only one corner of the world you can be sure of improving and that is your own self."

Courage to Change:  "Sometimes the healthiest thing I can do for myself is to admit that I'm not perfect.  I am human.  I make mistakes....there is a price to pay if I refuse to open up when I've been wrong---guilt...When I admit the error I take responsibility for my actions.  I free myself from the burden of an embarrassing secret, and I move closer to accepting my imperfection.  It becomes much easier to love myself if I accept myself as I truly am, mistakes and all.
     "Today I will have the courage to look the truth in the face, admit my errors and my achievements, appreciate my growth, and make amends where I have done harm.  Quote, "I care about truth not for truth's sake but for my own."-Samuel Butler

As We Understood:  (Referred to Step 11).  "During my daily quiet time, I try to focus all my attention on God.  When I take my problems to Him, I try to leave them there and keep my focus of attention on Him...I have come to believe that God does not usually send a crisis nor take it away, but that He gives me the grace I need to turn a crisis into an opportunity for growth."

...In All Our Affairs:  "Sometimes we must accept ourselves, defects and all, before those defects are removed.  As we continue to notice the effects of these attitudes and behavior patterns that no longer serve us, we take the Sixth Step, becoming entirely ready for God to remove them.
     "It can be humbling to discover that, though we have to do our part, we remain powerless to eliminate our defects by ourselves."  Which leads us to the Seventh Step...we ask God to help us.  Yep.  It's like that.

Dear Sweet Lord GOD Almighty Creator of it All, YOU are soooo amazingly greatly awesome!  The beauty and power of this moment to be with YOU is such a gift, a privilege.  Thank YOU for it all.  Lord, I ask YOUR help in living this day, one moment at a time, to YOUR glory.  If I can be of service, Lord, please use me and show the way to be of maximum service to
YOU and my spiritual siblings.  As YOU Will.  Love, Carol xoxox