The day after Mother's Day

Well, there you go.  Mother's Day was nice.  I went to the noon AA "Big Book study with Joe and Charlie" meeting.  Afterward I stopped at a store to buy my new GoWalk Skecher tennis shoes (courtesy of Sho).  That was fun.

When I arrived home, Sho had meat smoking on the bar-b-que pit and I worked on relocating some plants, transplanted, etc.

Why did I think no one was visiting?

Before long, my oldest son and his large-sized family arrived, then the youngest son, then oldest daughter, her husband and Stitch (her dog who kind of thinks he's ours, too.  He's Elvis's brother).  The house was full.  The two youngest were engrossed with the fish aquarium and had to be monitored.  Elvis was put in my room...just in case.

Nice.

I felt some sadness when one of my daughter-in-laws didn't visit or call to say "Happy Mother's Day".  I missed the sound of her voice in the mix.  It's so uniquely hers.  She and my youngest son are amicably separating and he helped her move out of their house on Saturday.  They are still "friends".  I grieved this for a moment but used the Serenity Prayer to process it, put it all in GOD's hands.  They have the right to live their lives, make their own decisions and their own Higher Power to guide them.  My part is to keep out of other people's business and mind my own.  I got plenty to keep me busy.

None of my stepchildren called or came by.  They probably think and say I was the worst stepmother in the world.  I refuse to blame them.  I do hope one day they will see I've truly loved them since I first met them and felt very responsible.  It was as if GOD brought them to me, gifts each and every one of them.  They really taught me a lot, stretched me to grow in so many ways.  I only wanted to look out for them, keep them safe and together.  We were in a pretty messed-up situation.  It was survival.  They have grown up to be pretty decent people and I'm proud of them.  If nothing else, they have big hearts and want to do good.  I doubt I have anything to do with that other than I confronted and pushed them to stay accountable.  There were just too many children in our household not to.

All those children were there in the latter stages of my drinking career and in early sobriety.  Guess how much impact that had on them?  It must have been horrible for them either way.  I put them all in GOD's powerful, compassionate, healing hands.  As YOU Will, Lord.

Dear Sweet Lord GOD Creator of my understanding, thank YOU for the magnitude of this moment hidden in the mystery of time.  Each moment unfolds and reveals its power.  Please help guide and support me through this process of living Life, help me be of service to YOU and my spiritual brothers and sisters.  Thank YOU for the multiple blessings YOU bestow on us all.  Love, Carol xoxox