Aging---what a privilege. Not everybody gets to grow old. I look at my gray hair, wrinkling skin, and remember my mom saying, "Carol, on the inside I feel like I'm 15 years old but my body doesn't cooperate." Jeesh. I can relate. The spirit is ageless on the inside. Eternal. I think about putting chemicals on my head to dye my hair..but I won't. I'd like it to be pink or purple. I truly am a silly old woman. But I won't, mainly because I don't want to contribute to putting dye in the waterways. Plus I want to embrace this inevitable process. Like the sun-rising and setting. A natural part of life as we know it here on Earth.
Daily Reflections, p.174, "AA taught me not to be overwhelmed, but rather to accept and understand my life as it unfolded."
One Day at a Time in Al-anon, p.166, "Here is a medicine that can change your whole life for the better; it will put you in state of relaxed serenity; help you overcome the nagging undercurrent of guilt for past errors, give you new insight into yourself and your spiritual value, and let you meet life's challenges with confidence and courage." Would I take it?" The magic medicine of working the Steps...
Hope for Today, p.166, "If I don't take the action to trust, my Higher Power has nothing to work with."
Courage to Change, p.166, "Then I read the Twelfth Step again. This time I noticed the part about practicing these principles in all my affairs. Slowly I came to understand that in living these principles I would carry the message by example." Jeesh. No preaching, no lecturing, no rescuing, no saving the world, no giving advice...just living the principles. Show by example. Model the behavior. This is what it looks like to work the Steps on a daily basis...hmmm.
Came to Understand, p.217, "Meditation is not what you think." A one line wonder.
...In All Our Affairs, p.148, "...at low moments (there were times when I felt suicidal) I found that creativity was a great antidote for negativity. I had been a sculptress, but one of the effects of alcoholism was that I lost touch with my art for several years. The idea of working in my studio overwhelmed me. So I did what I could...invented recipes for chicken and garnished the plate with flowers...bought a coloring book and a set of markers...made up song lyrics...going to coffee after meetings was extremely helpful...the breakup had left me feeling rejected and unlovable. The warm support I received in these social evenings helped with those feelings and filled many otherwise lonely hours. Hot showers, dancing in front of my mirror to very loud music, a cuddly teddy bear, and especially exercise lifted my spirits. Once a month I went to a comedy club with an Al-anon friend, just to remind myself that no matter how tragic my life seemed, some things were still funny. I bought a blank book, and when my feelings bottled up inside, I would write a letter to this God I was trying to understand, as if I were writing to a new friend...Today I know that part of my recovery is respecting my need and my right to let go and relax."
Dear GOD of it all, thank YOU for YOU. Please help me be of service to YOU and my brothers and sisters in the Spirit. Love, Carol xoxox
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