When in Doubt...

When I learned to play chess many years ago (which, by the way, I never was really any good at it because I have the attention span of a two-year old.  Also, it's important to want to beat, compete, win at that game.  My boss insists I'm ADD.  Probably right.)  Anyway, I remember being told, "When in doubt, move a pawn."

In the 12 Steps I've learned, "When in doubt...pause."

Last night at the shelter, the tension, anxiety, was very high.  It seemed like waves of negativity permeated the atmosphere.  I started feeling angry, frustrated, a bit overwhelmed.  Finally, I pushed away from the desk,  placed both feet on the ground instead of crossing one over the other, and rested my hands on the armrests.  I r-e-l-a-x-e-d.  Closed my eyes.  And started talking to my Higher Power. In a quiet voice I said, "You know, I just don't know what to do.  I need YOU to help me.  Please show me the way, help me..." and I just sat there, quiet, until the feelings subsided.  Went back to work.   About 5 minutes later, a co-worker called and informed me about things I needed to know.  She is also a minister of faith and I experienced her as if a breath of fresh air blew through...lovely.

"The spiritual life is not a theory.", indeed.

Of course, I went to Anonpress.org and searched the Big Book for the word "doubt".  My favorite again is "...test my thinking by the new God-consciousness within. Common sense would thus become uncommon sense. I was to sit quietly when in doubt, asking only for direction and strength to meet my problems as He would have me. Never was I to pray for myself, except as my requests bore on my usefulness to others." 

"The spiritual life is not a theory.", indeed.

"...either God is everything or else He is nothing."

"The spiritual life is not a theory.", indeed.

Dear GOD Almighty Creator, YOU are.  Thank YOU for the gifts YOU bestow on us to live Life, love Love and enjoy Happiness.  YOU the One!  Love, Carol xoxox