Submit...

I absolutely cannot make it without GOD and others.  "Like the flower needs the rain, you know I need you" goes the song.

These past 2 weeks have been nail-biting tension.  If I bit my nails I wouldn't have any!  The gut-wrenching grief, sorrow, anger, fear, guilt, shame, remorse, despair, frustration.  Jeesh.  I thought all of that was over in my life.  What is really something is that no one is doing a darn thing to me.  I'm doing this to myself.

In a lot of ways, I'm terribly immature.  A spoiled brat in that I don't want any discomfort.  I want it my way.  Right now.  Uh, it's been my experience this usually does not work out in the long run.  Where has my best thinking taken me???

I cannot rely on Self for the solution.  I am a part of the problem.  I need GOD.  I need other people.  It's been proven to me over and over again.  Submit to the simple process...

I wrote the letter of amends yesterday and read it to one of my double winner friends.  Later, I talked it over with another friend and then my AA sponsor.  My Al-Anon sponsor is still out of town.  Today I feel so much better.  Wow.  I'm deeply grateful.

I went to my grandson's graduation party and it was lovely to visit then be able to leave.  The children had sparklers, laughing, playing.  If anyone was drinking alcohol I wasn't aware of it and conversations were fun without any character assassinations.  Kewl.

Sho, along with his aunt, uncle, sisters, and brother, is dealing with making arrangements for his mother's funeral.  How different that must be from how it was when my mom died.  I put them all in GOD's Hands.

Anyway, last night I listened to some YouTube, played solitaire and when it was time, I went to sleep.  I slept like a baby.  Peaceful.  Serene.  All night long.  Thank YOU, GOD.

Dear Sweet Lord GOD on High, thank YOU for the wonder of this moment in Life.  Thank YOU for words of comfort, of love and support.  Thank YOU for the abundance of peace.  YOU are the One.  Lord, please help me be of maximum service to YOU and Your children.  Love, Carol xoxox